April 19, 2017

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Struggle 

Lately, I’ve been struggling 

To put words together 

On a page 

To post here. 

Usually, 

By the time I get to it,

It’s late 

And often my head hurts. 

 
Hence, why I struggle. 

I don’t know why

I struggle but I do. 

I do. 

I struggle and it’s hard. 

I wish the words came easily, 

Flowing like a river 

Or some other cliche. 

I want to write. 

I do!

Though sometimes… 

I don’t even believe myself. 

 
It’s hard to push through, 

But I’m making myself. 

I’m determined 

To do what I set out to. 

I have set my mind 

On completing my task.

This mind frame, 

This determination, 

This perseverance, 

Will get me further 

Than relying on pure skill. 

 
Though…

Hopefully, 

I have a little of that too. 

It would make the struggle 

All the more worthwhile. 

***

Prompt: Yet another silly poem bemoaning my own life choices. 

April 18, 2017

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B: Beautiful Bodies

Day in.

Day out. 

My body feels. 

Heart racing. 

Or head pulsing. 

Or chest tightening. 

These and more. 

They pronounce my health, 

Physical and emotional. 

 

I
carry too much stress. 

On my shoulders. 

In my head. 

Behind my eyes. 

The stress creates tension. 

The tension, discomfort. 

Discomfort may turn to more. 

To pain. 

To illness. 

Or perhaps both. 

 

W
e often forget 

That our bodies are important. 

We focus on the inside.

Our hearts. 

Our heads. 

We focus on the invisible. 

Our minds. 

Our souls. 

And in doing so,

Our bodies, 

Our physicality, 

Falls to the wayside. 

 

We forget to see 

Just how beautiful 

Our bodies are. 

And I don’t mean beauty as in 

Our waist size 

Or our pants size 

Or our hair color 

Or eye color 

Or skin color

Or anything typically termed 

“Beauty.”

I mean 

So. 

Much.

More. 

Than such a shallow definition. 

 

O
ur bodies tell us so much

But we miss it

Because our focus is elsewhere. 

We feel our emotions 

In our bodies 

But we forget that 

Because we’re so focused 

On how we feel in our heads. 

We are so much more. 

 

A
nd because we are,

We are even more 

More beautiful 

More intelligent 

More kind 

And caring 

And helpful 

We are more 

Than we can ever know. 

 All 

Because 

Of our bodies 

And the beauty, 

Oh what inherent beauty!,

They carry within. 

***

Prompt: Write a poem about something that fires you up. For me right now, that’s the importance and the beauty of the human body. Enjoy my rant. 

April 13, 2017

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Betrayal of Self

How do I explain
This feeling of
Betrayal
Abandonment
When my friends acted
In no way
Against me.
All they did
Was choose to volunteer
To have their feet washed
At Holy Thursday mass.
I, too, could have volunteered.
Perhaps I, too, should have.

But instead
I chose misery.
I chose tears.
I chose loneliness.
Isolation.
Because that apparently
Is my natural state.
Always miserable.
Always alone.
It’s a wonder I even have friends.

I chose this.
This suffering
Is suffering I inflicted
On myself.
I didn’t have to.
I didn’t have to.
I could have been happy.
I could have been free.
I could have been together.
But I chose the only route
I seem to know:
The route of loneliness
And self-pity
And tears
And self-hatred
And isolation.
A route only an idiot
Would take willingly.

I
Am that idiot.
Hear my cry.
***

Prompt: A poem explaining my current emotional state. Because I do that a lot. 

April 12, 2017

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Will You, Won’t You 

There comes a time

When you know you have…

Responsibilities…

But you don’t really want to go through with them.

Like me tonight. 

I know I need to write

Whatever it may be 

That spews out of my mouth.

But my tired mind protests. 

My eyes droops. 

My vision focuses in and out. 

My head feels heavy,

A slight pain behind my eyes. 

That’s because it isn’t night.

It’s not even technically 

April twelfth 

Of two thousand seventeen. 

It’s the thirteen. 

That goes to show my state of mind.

Midnight… one… 

The minutes pass by 

And it’s almost two.

In the morning. 

And even as I write this, 

My mind has one question 

That it can’t seem to answer:

Will you?

Won’t you?

***

Prompt: Write a poem expressing your mental state. 

April 5, 2017

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​An Ode to the Jerk at the Elevator

All I wanted from you was simple:

Hold the door. 

Let me in.

Scan me up. 

Simple motions that you were already taking for yourself. 

Add in another human being 

And of course the whole task changes.

You would have to share the Elevator.

With a stranger.

For who knows how many floors! 

(The most possible?

One, two, three, four, five. 

Five floors in the entire building.)

What agony that must be!

I would hate to put you through this experience that I’m sure you’ve had 

Time…

And time…

And time again.
I’m sure if you read this you would say, 

“Nothing personal.”

Because that’s what people on your position are supposed to say.

“Nothing personal” is supposed to make up for your actions.

Just a hint:

It doesn’t.
Because of your last know of kindness, 

I had to walk up the stairs,

To the very top floor,

Because I couldn’t scan myself up.

The stairs winded me

And I couldn’t breathe by the time I reached my landing. 

All because you didn’t want to share the Elevator. 
It’s not that you didn’t see me coming 

Or didn’t hear me. 

I know you did.

Your eyes connected with mine 

As the doors continued to close. 

I put my hand onto stop it,

But you must’ve done something, 

Pushed that extra little button, 

Because they kept on closing. 

They fought 

But they gave in to the touch of your finger. 

You had more power than I

And you left me in the dust. 
Don’t tell me you wanted personal space 

Or that strangers scare you. 

The Elevator is for the use of the entire building, 

And few know fear of strangers like I do. 

It isn’t much to ask,

To beg you to hold the door for the young woman struggling to enter. 

I know we know no chivalry 

In this broken world of ours, 

But I thought we still had common courtesy

To help pave our paths. 
But more and more, 

I seem to find 

That the opposite is true.

Our world is falling,

Crashing,

Half destroyed,

And it’s taking us with it too. 
And so, 

Unlike the Jerk who stopped the doors 

And thus kept me from the Elevator, 

I beg us all to find within ourselves 

That piece we all are missing.

Because it is in uniting

That we will become strong. 
Not in blocking Elevator doors. 

*** 

Prompt: Write a poem to a person who made you angry.